The insidious creep of self talk


I am pretty good, not great, at managing my mood. I check on it regularly, pause when I feel that something may not be right and do a mental inventory of what I am thinking and why. You know, the kind of thing that helps to correct your course.

Sometimes though, self talk is smarter than I am. Sometimes it knows that a large push off course is just too noticeable. So it makes little tiny changes, sometimes only one or two a day. Over a week or two or three these little changes in my mood begin to add up. I start to notice that my general attitude, the outward part of my personality, the reason people like me and want to be in my space doesn’t feel right. Conversations don’t seem to occur as often and when they do they are not as positive and directed towards forward momentum.

I just realized last night that I am off course and have been for several weeks. Call it lack of attention, maybe I didn’t care as much about it because of the things that I was managing. I am not sure but I know that I haven’t been myself lately.

If there is one thing of which I am sure, in every period of my life when I was not feeling great, not having good results, feeling lost in my work or art, I was the reason it turned around. A decision was made and action was taken.

In every case things got better, sometimes quickly sometimes not but always better.

Life is too precious to spend your time wallowing in quicksand, sinking ever deeper and repulsing those who may want to lend a hand and help pull you out.

Pay attention to your self talk, your primitive mind, but also pay attention to what you are feeling in the moment, in every moment. That is the only way I know to discover when your monkey mind is making tiny shifts in your perspective. Find them before you are fully off course and your long term benefit will be immense.


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